Have You Heard the One About?

I have a new vice - reading the Overhead in ... blogs. Brilliant. It is like found comedy - or is that commentary? Here are some of my favorites from just the last couple of days, all reportedly just snippets of conversation overheard in public places.

Overheard on the Beach

THE BLONDE LEADING THE BLONDE

Girl #1: I'm glad we aren't having earthquakes here like back in Cali.
Girl #2: It would suck coming over to Maui and then having an earthquake here.
Girl #1: Hey, can you feel an earthquake in a plane?
Girl #2: Um...

--Kihei, Maui, Hawaii
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Girl #1, whispering: Oh my god, I'm choking on this macaroni.
Girl 2: Then how are you talking?
Girl 1: The macaroni is stuck in my throat straight up, and I'm breathing through the hole in the noodle.
Girl 2: Ohhh, that makes sense.

--Virginia Beach, Virginia
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ENERGY POLICY

Man in skirt to bald woman: Seriously... Marijuana-fueled cars. It'd be great! Everyone would be high, and we'd have clean air!

--Avon, New Jersey
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Overheard in New York


RELATIONSHIPS

Dude: I'm needy and you do stuff for me. That's how our relationship works.

--2nd Ave. & St. Mark's Place
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Boyfriend: Listen, you're dissatisfied with me, and I'm dissatisfied with me. We have something in common! I think this relationship can work.

--32nd & 6th
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NYU freshman girl: I have a boyfriend -- I don't need a social life.

--Starbucks
*************

Old bitter woman to husband: I don't understand sex.

--72nd & 2nd
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PARENTING

Father to three-year-old son: The ruler of the universe says to stop chattering.

--7th Ave, Park Slope
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Mother to chatty child: Don't you have your pacifier? So pacify!

--Kingsborough Community College, Brooklyn
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RACE

Southern lady looking at surfers in wetsuits: I never knew there were so many negro surfers!

--El Granada, California
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Black woman to tanning salon flyer guy soliciting her: Nigga, you be blind!

--W 4th St & 6th Ave
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Sports editor: We need more magical black men.

--Columbia Spectator office
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HOW TO TELL IF IT WAS A GOOD PARTY

Blonde: So, I woke up and Jessica's underwear was still on my head...

--P.S. 1, Queens
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TRAVEL

Pilot: Like any pilot, I like to hear myself talk... All you're hearing now is 'Blah, blah, blah.'

--Delta flight, JFK
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Stewardess, sounding surprised during landing: Great job, honey.

--JFK
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POLITICS AND INTERNATIONAL RELATIONSHIPS

Little girl: Is George Bush a Republican or a Dominican?

--Times Square
***********

Hobo to another: So, I hear you're an international spy now.

--Washington Square Park
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40-something tourist to her daughter: All the homeless may be Democrats, but not all Democrats are homeless.

--Canal & Broadway