Random Observations on the Pope and Other Oddities

One can easily tell who the head of the Catholic Church is. The Pope has the tallest hat. I like the idea of using such a simple signal to indicate who is in charge and think that all organizations – from pre-schools to corporations and nation-states - should use the “taller the hat, the more authority” system.

I was in the gym and did not hear the commentary, but CNN showed nuns giving the pope a standing ovation. Is that really newsworthy? Nuns clapping for the pope?

I heard that when the pope finished his speech the other day, Bush leaned forward and whispered to him, “Awesome speech.” Future historians are likely to conclude that democracies were doomed when we made a man who is basically a 10th grader the head of the free world. “Awesome speech?” Really?

I was down by the beach the other day and a couple of beach bums were walking down the side walk in classic attire: flip flops, shorts, and Hawaiian shirts. The scrawniest of the two, though, had recklessly embellished his outfit, inexplicably donning boxing gloves at some point in his day. A third guy caught up with him and exclaims, “Are you wearing boxing gloves?!” At last, I think. Someone will call him on the obvious absurdity of this. “Yeah,” the guy smiles. “Awesome!” said the third beach bum, his tone conveying nothing but admiration. I looked down the street for George W., wondering if he knew that his buddies were enjoying this beautiful spring day without him.

Last week, airlines stranded about 3.7 million travelers. (Okay, perhaps I exaggerate, but does the actual number really matter?) And yet they persist in scheduling flights for 8:07 PM arrivals, even as they miss scheduled times by a matter of days. There ought to be a rule: an airline has to be exactly on time on at least two consecutive days before they can pretend to be so accurate. Meanwhile, why not just say, “We’ll arrive sometime after 8 PM. We hope.”

Critics have decided that Obama is elitist. He is one of three remaining people who is likely to become our next president. Is “elitist” an accusation or a statement of fact?

A salesman from Provo, Utah is suing his former employer for waterboarding during a team building exercise. “You saw how hard Chad fought for air,” the boss allegedly announced. “I want you to go back inside and fight that hard to make sales.” One can only speculate that when Cheney heard about this new trend towards the trivialization of torture, he said, “Awesome.”