Making the World Safe Again for Sex

Sadly, little has changed on Pennsylvania Avenue even though this new month brings the promise of hope-filled procreation.

"President Bush is well aware that the banner should have been much more specific and said `mission accomplished' for these sailors who are on this ship on their mission," White House press secretary Dana Perino said Wednesday. "And we have certainly paid a price for not being more specific on that banner."

So now the problem is one of specificity? Hm. And by fall, Dana Perino will say that "President Bush is well aware that he should have been much more specific and said, "The economy is looking better for the Leander Moore family of Nashville Tennessee."

And because the Bush administration seems to never make a policy decision without first thinking about whether it'll make life easier for late night comedians, they've put Nelson Mandela on the terrorist watch list. I would elaborate, but one hardly knows where to go with this. Is it possible for something to be too absurd to be made fun of?

And is it any wonder that George Bush's approval rating is now just above Marilyn Manson's and just below Britney Spears? The man is destined to go down in history as the synonym for incompetence. If he had the decency to step down, I'd have the decency to begin feeling sorry for him.

On a lighter note, Bush has only 264 days left in office. Pregnancies last 266 days. Children conceived this week will come into the world just as George leaves office. It is once again safe to have sex. But if you do chose to procreate, promise me this. If the child should grow up to become a person uninterested in complexity and consequences, please don't, in a moment of encouragment, tell him that even he can someday be president. I think that some things are best kept a secret.