Exclusive Scoop: Obama's Running Mate

There are a variety of considerations when choosing a VP running mate. Like the Bush men, you could choose a VP who so frightens people that you effectively have a guarantee against impeachment. You can balance the ticket by picking a running mate from a different region of the country. You might choose a running mate who brings to the table what you seem to lack, or one who represents a particularly important dimension of your world view. Or, in what I think is the most important consideration, you can choose a running mate whose name sounds great when paired with yours.

Using all these considerations, running them through my special R World computer, I have arrived at the VP I’m convinced will be Obama's new running mate.

The candidate I’m sure Obama will announce as his running mate will simultaneously show his sensitivity to the importance of religion, recognition that this may well be the Asian century, and a commitment to transcend national boundaries. More than that, though, the name of this running mate just sounds so cool with Barack’s.
So, here it is, my first ever scoop at R World. Look for the announcement within the month: Barack Obama is going to choose the Dalai Lama as his running mate. What could possibly sound more cool than Obama-Lama?

I’m going to begin printing campaign buttons and bumper stickers now. Submit your order before everyone finds out and the supplies run out.

[And thanks, Jordan, for the punch line to this post.]