Not a Smart Phone

"Yeah right," he heard the voice say in the pause after she declared her love. This was the first hint that something was wrong.

It started with little quips. "You wish," it would say when someone had just done a little advertisement for themselves. "As if," and "Oh really?" were common interjections into other's comments.

Finally, when he heard it tell a client, mid-conversation, "Your family is so dumb that during the Civil War you fought for the West," he realized why he had gotten such a good deal on this ridiculous phone. He hadn't bought a smart phone. He had, instead, accidentally bought a smart ass phone.