01 May 2008

Making the World Safe Again for Sex

Sadly, little has changed on Pennsylvania Avenue even though this new month brings the promise of hope-filled procreation.

"President Bush is well aware that the banner should have been much more specific and said `mission accomplished' for these sailors who are on this ship on their mission," White House press secretary Dana Perino said Wednesday. "And we have certainly paid a price for not being more specific on that banner."

So now the problem is one of specificity? Hm. And by fall, Dana Perino will say that "President Bush is well aware that he should have been much more specific and said, "The economy is looking better for the Leander Moore family of Nashville Tennessee."

And because the Bush administration seems to never make a policy decision without first thinking about whether it'll make life easier for late night comedians, they've put Nelson Mandela on the terrorist watch list. I would elaborate, but one hardly knows where to go with this. Is it possible for something to be too absurd to be made fun of?

And is it any wonder that George Bush's approval rating is now just above Marilyn Manson's and just below Britney Spears? The man is destined to go down in history as the synonym for incompetence. If he had the decency to step down, I'd have the decency to begin feeling sorry for him.

On a lighter note, Bush has only 264 days left in office. Pregnancies last 266 days. Children conceived this week will come into the world just as George leaves office. It is once again safe to have sex. But if you do chose to procreate, promise me this. If the child should grow up to become a person uninterested in complexity and consequences, please don't, in a moment of encouragment, tell him that even he can someday be president. I think that some things are best kept a secret.

10 comments:

Damon said...

Step down and give the last 264 days to Chaney?

Come on Ron, I figured a statement like that would be better thought out from the likes of you.

Now if we can get the chain of command to fall to Condi... =)

Damon said...

And yes, I realized too late I spelled Cheney's name wrong.

My apologies.

ThomasLB said...

Well, Nelson Mandela is (or at least was) a terrorist. He used, espoused, and defended violence as a legitimate tactic.

That's not what made him a terrorist, though. George W. Bush has done all those things himself.

What made him a terrorist was that he did all of these things without wearing a uniform. If you want to burn villages and bomb babies, that's perfectly acceptable- but you've got to wear the hat. We do require a degree of civility in these matters.

Suzanne said...

I absolutely love your insight about pregnancies and what's left of Bush's term in office.

Imagine that there are people alive today that have never known a U.S. president in office not named Bush or Clinton?!

Let's just hope we don't go back in time to another Clinton White House.....lol!


-suz

cce said...

Suz,we could do worse than another Clinton White House. Though I'm hoping for Obama, I'm sure that McCain is not the answer. I'd be happy to see another four years of Clinton-style democracy.
But I'm not tossing aside the birth control just yet. A LOT would have to change for that kind of wildly enthusiastic celebrating.

Ron Davison said...

Damon,
Good point. Again, you have to give those bush men credit for picking the one person as VP who would make impeachment untenable.

Thomas,
Civility and fashion do make such a difference. "Lloyd! You can't shoot people dressed like that."

Suzanne,
I read that by the end of Bush's term, one-quarter of the US population will have lived under either a Bush or Clinton president. If Hillary gets two terms, it will be one-third.

cce,
Now you have got me wondering if demographers out there are arguing about when the baby boom will hit.

Gypsy at Heart said...

You know, the husband and I have been trying on the baby front. However, now that I KNOW what a potential child of mine will be born into (a BUSH-less world), I'm quite sure there will be some future success to report as regards this endeavor.

Jennifer H said...

I'm with cce. Can't be too careful.

Surely the same obscure clause that put Nelson Mandela on the watch list could also be useful in adding George Bush and Dick Cheney to the watch list, also?

Anonymous said...

the pacifist future...
http://www.therant.us/staff/kraft/2006/10242006.htm

Anonymous said...

a bush-less world encourages sex, safe or not. that is not a secret.