Today I heard such a sad story. A friend went to a monster truck show yesterday and reported that what he saw, "was big and loud."
"You're talking about people or things," I asked.
"As a matter of fact," he said, "there was this one really loud, big guy with his shirt off who got handcuffed."
"What did he do?"
"Nothing, really, that I saw. I think that he was just overly excited about monster trucks."
It wasn't like the poor guy was at Von's or in church. He was at a monster truck rally. And was cuffed for excessive celebration. Where else is he going to be able to freely express his passion for monster trucks?
I love baseball, but find it inane that when a guy hits the rare home run he has to act as if he's jogging out to take his position, showing minimal emotion. It used to be that football players at least knew how to celebrate scoring, but apparently the officials thought it bad form for a guy to get excited and they now throw a flag at a player who acts too happy.
I missed the official memo requesting more apathy. Maybe the pharmaceutical companies are behind this, knowing that in order for us to continually swallow our emotions we'll eventually need some sort of chemical handcuffs. Or maybe the real plot is to get us all to stop emoting so that when they begin replacing us with robots we'll be less likely to notice.