03 January 2012

Last Tweets of 2011

At times he demonstrated a gift for numbers. One morning, for example, he multiplied all the zeros in his cheerios at a glance.

To make numbers less abstract, present federal budget numbers as "per household" and calories as "hours to walk off."

Even after losing 5M jobs his 1st year (worst since Great Depression), Obama's job loss total is ½M less than Bush thru first 34 months.

Personal ad I'd like to see - Dog needs driver: finally caught a car.

"Group rink:" when a group of people all simultaneously thinks it is their phone that's ringing.

Matt 6:32 has 1st emoticon? "... after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need 

Catapults seem like an overlooked solution for short-distance commutes.

Technically the Chargers are not yet eliminated from the playoffs. Just as technically I'm not yet eliminated from the GOP nomination.

RT @sacca Today started well before yesterday.

S&P may downgrade Euro Zone - including Germany. This, the same ratings agency that assured us subprime mortgages were safe.

Postal service could make billions by making service easier. Why not just bill like phone companies - end of month based on usage, letters and packages picked up at your door w/o postage?

Pujols offered $220M by Marlins. Assuming same performance next 10 yrs as last, that's more than half a million per HR or $100k per hit.

Wouldn't the most practical personalized ring simply be a voice saying,"Yes, Ron. This is YOUR phone ringing."

What if we're in a new economy? My "Simple Answer to Job Creation" Op-Ed is in this morning's Union-Tribunehttp://bit.ly/vsh1cA

So today the European Union decided to fine countries in financial trouble. Akin to making bankrupt people loan money to themselves?

Got carded tonight trying to buy Jr. Mints.

In the future, all work will be automated but people will take games so seriously that they'll get degrees in them.

Could have sworn I just saw kids openly celebrating Christmas. Now I'm beginning wonder if Rick Perry has gotten anything else wrong.

Candidates only pretend to strain against time limits on debate responses. Much easier to defend inane ideas for only 1 min.

His comedy sounded less like ad lib than ad libido.

Mitt asks Newt to return millions made lobbying. Newt asks Mitt to return millions made destroying jobs. A new, very personal tax plan.

Have no idea how I'll ever explain to my grandchildren why our generation paid so much attention to Donald Trump.

It's like a 2-dimensional Rubik's cube - can't figure out how to make this secret Santa program work here in the home office.

The on-spot poll analyst Nate Silver @fivethirtyeight says there are still FIVE plausible winnners in next month's Iowa caucus.

Iraq withdrawal after 4,802 coalition casualties (4,484 US), 113,728 Iraqi civilian deaths, and $823.2 billion. 

I suddenly don't care that Ron Paul's economic plan was just like the one that inspired Dickens. I love this guy.

Political debates would be infinitely more fascinating if your opponent got to choose one rebuttal before which you had to suck helium.

We will get better politicians when we get better citizens.

What about turning the White House into national museum and moving president into "Green" House designed for latest in sustainability?

Speaking of fascinating: Aldous Huxley, author of Brave New World, was so fascinated by LSD that he took it intravenously as he was dying.

Kim Jong-il was apparently very. Ill that is.

RT @GarryShandling I played college basketball at North Carolina. Ok, North Korea. But, I was a starter.

Does anyone have data about the turnover within "the top 1%" in income? Wonder if it's closer to 10% or 90% who qualify just once due to one-time events like selling a business.

It was so much calmer around the house now that she'd sent her husband away to boarding office.

"Worrying is praying for the things you don’t want."http://bit.ly/tbNGnu from @ThomasLBryner

Hope Obama saved 1 wish for the economy. Bin Laden, Gaddafi & Kim Jong Il dead & no GOP candidate can hold a lead for more than a month.

Vaclav Havel, " words are capable of shaking the entire structure of government .. words can prove mightier than 10 military divisions”

The more airtime for country music in a metropolitan area, the higher are suicide rates. http://bit.ly/sDcWqR Causation or correlation?

Doppler-ganger effect: growing sense of foreboding that an approaching person may be your double, a sense that recedes after they pass.

Kim Jong Il once shot a 38 for 18 holes of golf. And, presumably, substances like heroin and hallucinogenics. http://bit.ly/sj1ERr

I've decided to begin an aggressive campaign of revisionist personal history.

#NewYearsResolutionsReconsidered - become the Michael Jackson of Polka.

Virginia Republican Party just ensured "outsider" status to everyone but Romney and Paul by denying everyone else room on the ballot. http://reut.rs/uvWJvC

No. I don't miss the seasons.

Good to see that Drew Brees has finally recovered from the pain of being traded from the San Diego Chargers.(Oh, and congrats on breaking single season passing yards record.)

British dogs watch TV 50 minutes a day [per Harpers]. From this we can conclude that they're obviously uninterested in plot resolution.

So excited about 2012. It includes a leap year, Olympics, an election & the end of Mayan Civilization. And that's just what's scheduled.

RT @alanwebber   "I never predict. I look out the window and see what's visible but not yet seen." Peter Drucker

You read it here first: by end of 2012, unemployment will be under 7.5%. (Assumes 2.5+ million jobs created, the avg from '60 to '99.)

File under political / social laws: it's easier to distort reality than change it.

Holiday dinners are like amateur talk radio. Without screeners. Or predictable political orientation. Or the option to hang up.

The presidential cabinet needs a jester whose job is to mock them about their limits and to dangle before them the null hypothesis.

Relieved to know that I still have a couple of days before I have to start procrastinating in my resolve to be a better person.

I'm accepting year end donations for my new charity, "Dictators without Borders."

I'm doing "Old Year's Resolutions" this year. One day of radical transformation might actually be plausible.

S&P 500 rose 8%, then dropped 19%, then rose 14% to finish 2011 EXACTLY where it started: 1257. That Family Circus kid whose walks were punctuated with so many circuitous tangets has become a day trader?

No need for life extension if we could work out technology for pausing time so that time didn't advance any faster than we actually used it.

I may have reached the age that I should begin making new year's resignations: things about myself to which I simply resign myself for 2012.

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