17 September 2013

ESPCNN - Political Commentary as Sports Metaphors

ESPN has become the wallpaper of many lunch spots. And of course during the day it's an curious thing to show because - as near as I can tell - they're silently playing analysis of games and teams and players. I don't think that anyone asked for silent commentary but it's what we've got. Odd.

But what I really wanted to say is that I got an idea for a cable news channel. It would have the talking heads analyzing events - just as so many news and sports stations do. But it would blend the worlds of sports and politics. For instance, it could have a video of a punt return guy who forgets to signal fair catch getting hit with a tsunami wave of special teams tacklers while pundits say things like, "This is how Obama must have felt today when House Republicans voted no on his proposal to attack Assad's forces." 

It would be a way for men to catch up on two worlds at once, and of course part of the debate between the pundits would now include which plays during the week better represented their side's performance. Perhaps the pundits themselves could re-enact scenes from Mixed Martial Arts fights as they hurled insults. 

Frank Zappa once quipped that "Politics is just the entertainment arm of the Military Industrial Complex." I suspect that this sort of coverage would take us back to the days when we didn't need politics or sports because we had war. Coverage like this could bring back the physicality of political differences, turning abstract policy issues into vivid scenes of open-field rugby runs, broken bats, injured players, and balls that everyone just turns to watch as they clear the fence. 

ESPCNN. Stay tuned. This is going to be huge.

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