07 October 2014

5 Reasons Boehner's Tweet Called Our Attention to 5 Points He Couldn't Make

Today, Boehner sent out this odd tweet, a "5 points for jobs" plan

The twitterati were quick to notice that he'd left these five points blank and filled them in for him. Rather than provide 5 points, I'd like to suggest 5 reasons he may have released such a list.

1. The GOP, the party of self- reliance, has finally adopted a "do-it-yourself" platform, inviting everyone to come up with their own jobs plan and filling in the blanks themselves. ("You better have a plan to get your own job.")
2. Boehner held up his hands to his staff, fingers splayed, and said, "My jobs plan has five points ..." and then, like Rick Perry listing government agencies that he would shut down, got stuck. Unlike Perry, Boehner was unable to even start his list.
3.   It is a surreal nod to laissez-faire capitalism, assuring voters that no matter how long the list, nothing will be on it.
4. It is a list of the legislative achievements of his 113th Congress. (This same list works for jobs, crime, environment, foreign policy, healthcare ... well essentially everything. No Congress has done less in terms of legislation.)
5. Boehner types out his own tweets on a modified IBM Selectric and accidentally hit one too many carriage returns as he was still composing his list.

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