01 December 2010

November Tweets

Oh no! Tomorrow if you vote one way it'll be social armageddon and economic stagnation & if you vote for the other, the reverse.

Pelosi has proposed to Boehner that they settle who'll be Speaker of the House with a best of 7 series between the Giants and Reds.

Hooray!! We're going to reduce the deficit by laying off all government workers and contractors! Finally a solution to chronic unemployment.

The term "horseless carriage" stuck for years. By contrast, the term "carriage-returnless typewriter" to describe the computer never took.

Idea for my first ever art show. Accidental exhibit: portraits of museum guards.

The simplest explanation for the last election could be aspirational voters who vote for tax breaks they wished they qualified for. 

"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."

Make financial news more anthropomorphic .OK: “Market takes a breather.” Better: “Market couldn't be bothered to get out of bed this morning & put its pants on.

Bush: "I could have done things better." He still thinks it was about execution. Yet, the better you do the wrong things the worse it gets.

One secret to happiness seems simply having very low standards for what one finds amusing.

In restaurants, hotel lobbies ... anyone else notice that TVs are the new wallpaper? And most inexplicable are the muted talking heads.

Think that a buddy concerned about the deficit should start a new political party. How about "the party's over" party.

Veteran’s Day … "... as many Vietnam veterans committed suicide after the war as were killed during it." Respect soldiers? Stop sending them to war.

Of all the things I could be thinking about ... I keep thinking, "it's only only 9-ish here, not noon. Wait at least an hour for lunch.

Sandi bought me a reversible pullover. I guess that means I can pull it on or pull it off. No idea why they felt compelled to point that out.

1 in 5 Children live in poverty. Rand Paul would like to point out that this is just one more reason to do away w/ child labor law.

The FDA will soon require graphic pictures on cigarette boxes depicting the consequences of tobacco abuse. I so hope that fast foods and groceries aren't next.

Cameron and Obama say that Suu Kyi is an inspiration and a personal hero. Now if only they had enough power to pressure the Burmese junta.

Solved the deficit while eating cereal this morning:nytimes.com/interactive/20… via @nytgraphics Now you try.

Veni, vidi, visa. I came, I saw, I charged it. Visited the 2nd largest mall in US last week in Philly. It was just like a mall only more so.

As I see it, I have 3 choices: gain 10 lbs, lose 10 lbs, or buy a new belt. 

Mary Karr's Liars' Club is to growing up agnostic in Texas what Angela's Ashes is to growing up Catholic in Ireland. That rare book that is funny & poignant.

He got on the TSA no-fly list. Why? Thanked them a little too enthusiastically for the pat-down and body scan.

Listened to talk @ Neuroscience Institute on Memory. Supposedly experts but they couldn't explain where memories of past lives are stored.

Not only were they never published, but as far as we know Socrates, Buddha and Jesus never even wrote anything.

As it turns out, making things simple is not always so simple.

One problem w/ positive thinking is that if you're smart enough to delude yourself than you're too smart to fall for it.

The Pope created 24 cardinals today. To keep up, the Archibishop of Canterbury plans to create 36 bluebirds tomorrow.

Still wowed by the serendipity today. Visited the 6th floor museum on this, the 47th anniversary of JFK's assassination. Riveting & surprisingly poignant.

Quirky Austin. I wonder if a simple proxy / metric, for how much personality a city has is the ratio of locally owned businesses to chains.

Ken Starr has become the president of Baylor. I wonder how long before he'll found a school of proctology there.

Thanksgiving - when Americans celebrate settling a new continent ... and Europeans celebrate being left in peace & quiet on the old one.

Special greetings from this San Antonio tourist for your Thanksgiving feasting: remember the ala mode.

In 1960, smokers in US = 42% & obese = 13%. By 2009, smokers = 20% & obese = 35%. Did 22% of Americans stop smoking & begin overeating?

Billy Joel had both hips replaced. I hope he sprung for the auto-gyration disco ball joint version.
New bucket list item: start a motorcycle gang.

One rarely mentioned benefit of face masks: they keep touchdown celebrations from escalating beyond hugs and high-fives.

The real reason that newspaper revenues fell precipitously in the last decade: Bill Watterson retired. http://bit.ly/ec4xCb

I think flying would be more exhilarating if we traveled 550 mph at an altitude of 30 feet instead of 30,000.

Woman w/ huge neon pink purse, "Victoria's Secret" written in huge glitter font on the side. @ that point does it still qualify as a secret?

I'd have more respect for the media if just once they announced, "nothing newsworthy happened today, so we're just going to play some music"

Simple guide to pursuing audacious goals in 3 easy stages: arrangement, rearrangement, and then derangement.

Mine is a condition common to many San Diegans, I'm claustropedic. My toes start to feel panicked when they're closed in for too long.

Rush Limbaugh? Ha! Let's tackle him.

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