07 January 2011

December Tweeting

Rush Limbaugh? Ha! Let's tackle him

Retro product idea: a rotary dial cell phone. (Or is there already a smart phone app for that?)

# of stars now 300 sextillion, 3X previous estimates. On a related note, mathematicians have tripled the estimated value of infinity.

NASA discovers that life in CA is ... different. Who would have guessed? 

Everything is systems. Context is just the system bigger than the system on which you're focused.

Wonder how we'd explain to Martians that no issue's more vital to r future than the question of whether to raise taxes another 3% on just 2% of the pop.

Time to start thinking about new year's resolutions. One I'm contemplating is liberal use of the word "uber."

The escalator hand rail in O'Hare has become a billboard. Turns out that the final frontier in space is advertising space. Absurd.

"We're waiting for pilots," they announced. "I don't have a license but I've always wanted to fly one," I tell the crew. Sadly, they thought I was joking

How about negative entropy pool? After the initial break, the goal is to get the balls back into the formation of the original triangle.

LA County now fines Jaywalkers $191. This fine is discounted 50%, tho, if at the time of arrest you can demonstrate a decent moonwalk.

Congress is extending tax cuts & benefits. They talk of deficit reduction w/ double-digit unemployment but it turns out they aren't idiots.

Philadelphia Phillies ranks up there with San Diego Sandies or Los Angeles Losers for imaginative team names.

Assange arrested in Europe. I wonder if we'll ever see the diplomatic cables requesting his arrest. Probably all done with phone calls.

Well, at least Republicans are clear about the one thing on which they won't compromise: tax cuts for the top 2%.

Shouldn't an elevator be called something else when it is going down?

Jeter goes 2 for 2 Tuesday. $51 million contract from Yankees. Cool million in extra take home over next 2 years from Obama & Republicans.

Imagine ....
[Lennon anniversary]

Language defines the meaning we give to sounds; culture defines the meaning we give to behaviors.

Is the allure of Cinderella for women really about the prince or the thought of someone making great effort to deliver the perfect shoe?

Jung's Lost Manuscript: TV, the collective semiconscious.

wikileaks. Good: citizens know what govt does but their own lives are private. Bad: govt knows what citizens do but its actions are private.

Republicans’ economic philosophy: the 1 reason everyone is not rich is that tax rates are so high they leave us no incentive to be rich

Given the anxious look on his face, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised to hear him ask, "Where is your codependent reader section?"

Love begins with approval, continues with acceptance.

Do you suppose that if Americans suddenly had technology to extend life to centuries there would be a push for euthanasia legislation?

Reliarmed? the mix of relief and alarm when you discover you've narrowly averted a disaster that you didn't know about until it had passed.

Every 24 hrs, life expectancy rises 5 hrs. If rate of improvement tracks productivity increases, by 2100 it'll rise 24 hrs every 24 hrs.

There's no need for gratuitously complicatifying things.

Could not figure out why we were just sitting on the tarmac unable to take off. Then I realized that I'd left my cell phone on.

Uniform idea: designed to look blurry and out of focus so that defenders continually question the direction and location of players.

Wonder if we'll develop something even better than North Korea's spring-loaded marching step once we've repealed don't ask / don't tell.

Sadly, to save on royalties, the Salvation Army bought the rights to the "Jingle Bells" songwriter's lesser known tune: "Jangle Bells."

Wonder how computer repair will evolve. Cars are still expensive to repair but need it less often. Clothes are cheap enough to just replace.

Michael Jackson just came out with a new album. You can text him an interview request via Ouija board.

No one ever points out that while we've kept the mass in Christmas, it has morphed from religious ceremony to actual ... well, mass. I suspect that the average weight gain during Christmas is about 5 pounds.

Is it just me, or does Julian Assange look look like a Tolkien character?

 MS gov Haley Barbour doesn't remember segregation as "being that bad." Didn't Rockefeller say that abt the depression?

If Santa were from the South Pole instead of the North do you suppose homes would be filled with the smells of frying instead of baking?

You are what you tweet.

I don't care who you are, the thought of living 500+ years has got to hold your attention for 20 minutes. 

The teen center had a small auditorium with an awkward stage.

Something about his cooking made her briefly wonder whether cuisine and queasy didn't have a shared etymology

Really looking forward to ESPN's special holiday board game coverage.

Probably best not to think about how Santa treats his elves and suppliers as he works to drive down costs to zero.

Some restaurant is going to start offering "even primer rib" and "primest rib." And once that happens, who'll settle for mere "prime rib?"

Before you agree to push back the ocean, study the tide tables. Life is simpler when you work with the forces rather than against them ... plus it is kind of fun to take credit for the inevitable.

I wonder if Santa Claus and the Buddha go to the same gym.

Heard Bobby Dylan tell a joke today. "My friend Derek is an atheist. His favorite Christmas movie is 'Coincidence on 34th Street.'"

Oh boy. I now have less than a week in which to get serious about my 2010 new year's resolution

I have just 2 questions of walking or jogging partners. 1. Can you keep up on the way out? 2. Can you carry me on the way back?

2011 and still no personal robots or flying cars. Technical difficulties? OK. But what's the holdup on the ubiquitous, unisex coveralls that used to be in every sci fi movie?

The things you learn in checkout. Apparently, Eva Longoria is not attractive enough to find someone to mate with. 

Odd, really, that a country founded by men in wigs took centuries to repeal "don't ask / don't tell."

I think that next I'd like to be an unlicensed aristocrat.

If the amygdala is the part of the brain that socializes, is facebook the internet's amygdala? 

Could have sworn that just yesterday we were living in San Diego. Today, instead, I could just swear. Rain? Cold? Again?

Saw a bi-plane yesterday. I guess they call it that because its performance is the same regardless of its orientation.

One of amazing things about the internet is that it takes all the effort out of multitasking. You don't even have to get out of your chair to be distracted

Mankind has all kinds.

It's probably too late to get the tshirts printed up to sell for this year ... "Make love, not resolutions. Happy New Year!"

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