09 December 2020

What The Coming Facebook Breakup Could Mean for Your Friend Group

This is quite the headline:
"U.S., states sue Facebook as an illegal monopoly, setting stage for potential breakup"

I wonder how they will break us up. Will it be by region, politics, family, neighborhood, school, church or coworker groups? Will we be broken up into groups that obsess over weird things like economic numbers and everyone else?

Post breakup, you might overhear this conversation from the side of customer support.

"No, Ron."

"No. You were not kicked off of Facebook. Facebook has been broken up. You'll be in a special group with Bill Abendroth where you two can obsess all you want about policy without boring everyone else to tears."

"No. Don't think of it as eviction or deportation from a virtual nation or shunning. Facebook has been broken up and you are in a special group."

"Well, yeah. I guess if you put it like that, it feels like a breakup because it is a breakup. Sure, I can see how you two might see that it's unfair that you are on one platform and everyone else is still on the original platform and still in contact with each other."

"We had to appease the courts and create a break somewhere. I'm sure your friend Bill could explain that to you. Perhaps in a series of posts."

"What do you mean that Abendroth said that for all its flaws the old Facebook never before felt like a prison cell until he got stuck with you? I agree. That does seem unnecessarily hurtful."

"I guess you could unfriend him. Yes."

"Right. It would be weird to be on Facebook without any friends but Bill is your designated friend so, if you can't resolve your differences with him ..."

"We get that you're upset. We feel your pain. In fact, we're really broke up about it."

No comments: