08 November 2007

Another Day, Another Batch of Headlines

Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili drew an angry response from Russia on Thursday and faced growing censure from supporters in the West after he quashed opposition protests and imposed emergency rule. The response from Bush was more confused. "Georgia has a president,? Does that mean I'm governor there?" he asked aids.

Here in San Diego, Marines have put their drill instructor on trial for being abusive. Seriously. If they lose this trial, said their defense attorney, they're going to appeal on grounds that the judge was judgmental.

In New York, a restaurant is offering a $25,000 dessert. It includes 28 different cocoas, 5 grams of edible gold, and medical coverage for any health complications resulting from obesity. McDonald's has announced that they'll begin selling fries that include stents for only $12,000.

Yesterday, in Texas, a man set a record by sitting in a tub filled with 87 rattlesnakes. The stunt did two things for him. One, it gave him the Guinness record. Two, it substituted for a normal election. The voters in his district said, "Okay! You've proved it. You're ready to sit in congress."

Televangelist Pat Robertson endorsed Rudy Giuliani, surprising observers who thought Giuliani's support for abortion would make it difficult for him to win the support of the evangelic community. Robertson said that he'd prefer to support a candidate who would not only fight for the rights of the unborn but be willing to bomb the cities of the born, but if he had to choose, he felt like he had to go with someone willing to bomb the born.

A couple driving near Chelan, Washington had a cow fall out of the sky and onto the hood of their minivan. I have no clue about how to embellish this.


Anonymous said...

Aw, the poor cow. And all those selfish people can think about is their stupid mini-van.

Ron Davison said...

It could have been suicide. I mean, what's a cow got to look forward to?