20 December 2007

A Hell of a Cold

I have a friend who went to the doctor the other day and was given the oddest diagnosis I've ever heard.

Suffering from congestion, chronic cough, headache, and shortness of breath, vomiting - the symptoms one associates with a persistent cold or flu - she went in to the doctor expecting that she might walk out with antibiotics. Instead, after some preliminary questions about how she was feeling and her lifestyle, she ended up in this conversation.

Doctor: Do you have a religious background?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: Are you religious now?
Patient: Not really, no.
Doctor: I think I know what your problem is: you are being controlled by Satan.

This friend was flabbergasted, stunned silent. And, this really happened. In 2007. In the United States. In Southern California.

What would you have said? What would you do?


Anonymous said...

Personally, I believe in trusting authority implicitly. Did the doctor perform the exorcism himself, or did he refer her to a specialist?

cce said...

Yes, a specialist for this sort of thing is definitely the answer. We have a good palm reader in town who can be consulted for second opinions on such matters. Not sure about the long term prognosis for your friend. Did the doctor care to share his/her remedy for the obvious problem?

(I think I might have called social services immediately after that visit. Just to, you know, mention that there was someone practicing medicine without a license or a drip of sanity.)

David said...

There are different kinds of alternative medicine. I've been through TBM and CRA and they fall in the same category with devil theory. It's too bad we can't get Mike Huckabee to comment on this from a Mormon point of view (as he sees it). And, according to the FDA, Kevin Trudeau is The Devil.

Life Hiker said...

Doesn't California have a medical society? I would send them a letter and also send one to the attorney general of California. Of course, I, too, have had some rather heavy flu-like symptoms lately, so perhaps this recommendation comes from the Satan who is currently possessing me.

Dave said...

I was going to comment along the lines of Life Hiker; but, I like the idea of Mike Huckabee handling this. Dog gone him anyway. He likes the Fair Tax with which I'm currently enamoured, but then he has these goofy religious leanings.

Ron Davison said...

That actually makes sense - just stop by the nurses station on the way out and say, "When is a good time to schedule an exorcism?"

I thought that palm readers could only tell if you are possessed if your life line has little devil's horns in it (but I'm not sure - I, too, have no license in this kind of thing).

So the real question is "Who does the AMA think is the devil?" Once this friend finds out who that is and how he/she is controlling her, she's on her way to good health.

Just as I was about to take yours as good advice, you have to mention the fact that you too might be possessed. Now I don't know where to turn.

Now that's a scary thought - Huckabee's health plan - the only plan to include exorcisms.