18 December 2009

The "Oh Nothing" Decade Is Ending

Last decade was the 90s. The decade before, the 80s. This decade just ending? We ought to give something phonetic to the 00s. I suggest the Oh nothings.

First we had the Y2k bug. Computers would crash! The market would crash! Airplanes would crash! We spent billions converting computers and software. Wait a minute. You mean all the computers are fine? What is it? Oh, nothing.

In 2000 we heard, it's a new millennium! Everything will be different! Everyone will be rich with tech stocks. Robots will bring your slippers. It'll be wonderful! Wait? What is it? Where are my millions? Where are my slippers? What did the new millennium bring? Oh, nothing.

When George W. Bush was sworn in, there was a measure of excitement. We have a new compassionate conservative! We're bringing morality back to the White House. A non-partisan approach. Leadership and wisdom. Wait? What? What is he saying? What is his IQ? Oh, nothing.

9-11! Terror! The world is ending! Lives are in danger! The economy will collapse! Wait. No more attacks? What are is Osama doing now? Oh, nothing.

Invasion of Iraq! Our troops may face fierce resistance. We'll find WMDs! Wait? What? You've found ... oh, nothing.

Blogging was going to give everyone a voice. Make us all famous. Allow the little guy to hold politicians accountable. It was going to change .... oh, nothing.

Rebuilding Iraq. A light of democracy in the middle east. Peace at last. Prosperity for those poor Iraqis. We'll give them ... oh, nothing.

Obama won the election. He was going to get us out of Iraq and Afghanistan. Close GITMO. Get the economy going again. End greed on Wall Street. Change the world as we know it. He was going ... what is that you said? Troop surge? Unemployment in double-digits? What has he changed? Oh, nothing.

This last year, we heard that the economy is going to crash. We'll have a Great Depression! Banks will fail! Everyone will be homeless! Wait. The economy dipped a few points and then started to rise again? What is going to happen? Oh, nothing.

In the end, the events of the decade seemed like those teaser leads the TV news uses to bring you back from break, hoping that by the time the commercials are over and they tell you the actual story you won't realize that it was ... oh, nothing.


Big Al said...

And let's not forget the likes of Bernie Madoff, who asked for our money and promised in return we'd realize return percentages in the high teens...better than the rest of the market average. Wait. What? He was a fraud? That means my 401(k) is now worth...oh, nothing.

Ron Davison said...


Perfect catch. I love it. Better than the ones I had, actually.

Big Al said...

Ron, you had the brainchild to call this past decade he "Oh, nothing" decade. I never would have thought of what I wrote without your lead-in.

I'm thinking the reason you thought my contribution potentially better than some of yours is only because I'm guessing like me, it hit a little bit too close to home.

Lifehiker said...

H1N1 was poised to decimate the world, with little children and pregnant mothers swamping the morgues. But, elaborate warnings an vaccine plans were publicized ad nauseum to get ahead of the "pandemic". Then it hit. "What do we have in the way of vaccine?" Oh, nothing. "CDC head, what do you have to say about whe the pandemic never happened?" Oh, nothing.

Ron Davison said...

most excellent. Of course how could I expect to remember something that (didn't) happen all of a month ago? :)

bryan said...

"Honey? what did you say?"

"Oh, nothing."

JSN said...

Random next-blog commenter:

Probably a million people have died, who would not have otherwise died, because of Iraq. I can't call that nothing.

And this was, without a doubt, the worst economic contraction in almost 75 years, which is not nothing. Some aspects of the downturn (housing starts and building permits) still are worse than any time in the last 40 years.