12 July 2012

Your Mama Invented Baseball

I think baseball was designed by mothers.

First, we've all come to accept the wisdom of wearing helmets while riding motorcycles or even bikes. Only baseball players wear helmets just for running. And curiously, many of them don't even run that fast.

Second, while football players get excited about just doing their job (watch a guy who has just tackled someone strut), baseball players are obligated to restrain their emotions. Unless it's a bottom of the ninth situation, even a grand slam gets just a tight-lipped smile and a restrained trot.

Finally, in football or basketball, if a player is a great scorer, his teammates keep giving him the ball. Baseball? It doesn't matter how well you hit, you have to wait your turn. Even a pitcher who might have about a 5% chance of getting on base gets his turn - and often the guy with the highest probability of getting on base has to wait until after this pitcher makes his obligatory out.

I could be wrong about this, but it kind of makes sense. "Put your helmet on before you run!" "Don't act all excited. Are you trying to make those guys who got out feel bad?" "Wait your turn! It doesn't matter that you  hit better than Jeremy. You let him hit first." It's hard to imagine anyone other than a mom saying that.

No comments: