07 June 2016

Law School Secrets from Trump University

"It's a simple but powerful argument," the professor says. "Role play with me and I'll demonstrate."

"That judge is biased against me and needs to dismiss himself from my trial," the professor says.

"Biased against you? Why?"

"I called his mother a whore."

"Wow," students murmur as they scribble in their notebooks. Well, all but one student.

The professor, flushed from the excitement of his brilliant argument, singles out this inattentive student and says, "If you're interested in getting a good grade, maybe you should be taking notes."

"You can't fairly judge me," the defiant student says.

"I can't? Why?"

"Your father's a rapist."

"What! I ... oh," it dawns on the professor. "Brilliant. Wow. You're a natural at this. Who have you been consulting for legal advice?"

"I'm speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain and I've said a lot of things,"* the student responds.

And with that, the professor gets out his notebook and begins to take notes.

* Actual Donald Trump quote from an appearance on MSNBC's Morning Joe, when Donald was asked who he consistently talks with about foreign policy.

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