Last night I got a fortune cookie that reads, "You have handled your responsibilities competently."
This is a fortune cookie, not a performance review, and yet it could not be written in less inspiring prose. Would it have been too much to ask of a non-binding, supposedly pleasure-inducing document for it to have gone out on a limb and suggested that I had handled my responsibilities splendidly? "Competently?!"
Stung, I replied, writing on the back of the fortune, "Your taste was somewhat different than cardboard," and stuffed it back in the remaining half. "Competently." As if a fortune cookie would have a clue.