02 March 2007

Political Science - the world's simplest political ideology test

What follows is the world's simplest test of political ideology. Read the lyrics to Randy Newman's Political Science and then find the word that best describes how you feel and what that suggests about your ideology.

Political Science by Randy Newman

No one likes us-I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around, even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens

We give them money-but are they grateful?
No, they're spiteful and they're hateful
They don't respect us-so let's surprise them
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them

Asia's crowded and Europe's too old
Africa is far too hot
And Canada's too cold
And South America stole our name
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us

We'll save Australia
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
We'll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin', too

Boom goes London and boom Paris
More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town

Oh, how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono
And there'll be Italian shoes for me

They all hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now
Let's drop the big one now


After you read the above lyrics, if you feel:

• Disgust at the mocking, disrespectful tone – you’re a traditional conservative
• Like this is the best idea you've heard in years – you’re a neocon
• Like playing the lyrics backwards – you’re a theocon
• Outrage and horror – you’re a bleeding heart liberal
• Like commenting at length about imperialism – you’re a bore
• Delighted – you’re an anarchist
• Relieved that they’ll be no more jobs lost to outsourcing – you’re a protectionist
• Self-righteous – you’re a moderate
• Envious of so much destructive capacity – you’re a terrorist
• Like taking out a red pen to correct the spelling and grammar – you’re a bureaucrat
• Excited by the thought of Italian shoes – you have no political ideology (but love the small crowds at the mall on election day)
• Confused – you’re the swing voter to whom they target 30-second campaign ads and it is amazing that you made it this far given this posting doesn't have any celebrity pictures


flametree said...

I like my politics more on the radical side, for example http://www.wewillnotbesilenced.com

Guess that makes me a bleeding heart liberal and happy to be that way!


Anonymous said...

Holy crap, I'm a neocon! I did not know that about myself.

I wonder what the lyrics to God's Song can tell us about our religious beliefs?

Tisha! said...

I'm an anarchist!

Ron Davison said...

I've got bleeding heart liberals, neocons, and anarchists reading my blog? It's no wonder I'm so confused about my own political identity.

I guess it all goes to show - if there is one thing we have in common - Australian liberals, American neocons, and Belgian anarchists - it is our confusion. You're welcome back here any time to share in mine. Thanks for playing.

David said...

I'm not any one of these things but a little of all. I'm so integrated that it's best for me to stay on cruise ships with no papers or TV. But Randy left out New Zealand, the greatest land of them all, which I confirmed by a visit there last month. I'm going back whether Hillary wins or not. It's just that if she does win, I'm remaining there for my good and all time.

Ron Davison said...


You could create apolitical land - "for those of you who care too much to care any more."

If you move to NZ, you're likely to have Fulton as a neighbor.