09 March 2007

Pope Benedict as Music Critic

The pope has decided that Bob Dylan is "the wrong kind of prophet." This has me concerned. I can only assume that folks like Springsteen and Van Morrison are now tarred with the same brush. Maybe it's because I'm a bit panicked by this news, but now I can only think of one safe strategy: listen exclusively to artists who have never been accused of profundity, much less prophecy. I'm headed off to the store to pick up the latest from Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson. This is going to be an adjustment.

I wonder if Rolling Stone might sign on the pope as music critic. It could be interesting if only it wouldn't be so repetitive. "Once again, I feel compelled to give a thumbs down to this new release. It encourages the wrong kind of mindless conformity among today's youth. Plus these bands wear such funny costumes," said the pope as he bobbed his mitre along with the song.


Anonymous said...

When I was in junior high school the nuns warned us against Alice Cooper. He used a girl's name and wore eye makeup, so there was a danger we would get our genders confused and end up homosexual.

So he's probably the wrong kind of prophet, too.

Maybe it would be a shorter list if he told us who was the right kind of prophet.

Ron Davison said...

I think that the pope would do that - tell you about the right kind of prophet. The problem is, no recordings have survived into modern times.