The pope has decided that Bob Dylan is "the wrong kind of prophet." This has me concerned. I can only assume that folks like Springsteen and Van Morrison are now tarred with the same brush. Maybe it's because I'm a bit panicked by this news, but now I can only think of one safe strategy: listen exclusively to artists who have never been accused of profundity, much less prophecy. I'm headed off to the store to pick up the latest from Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson. This is going to be an adjustment.
I wonder if Rolling Stone might sign on the pope as music critic. It could be interesting if only it wouldn't be so repetitive. "Once again, I feel compelled to give a thumbs down to this new release. It encourages the wrong kind of mindless conformity among today's youth. Plus these bands wear such funny costumes," said the pope as he bobbed his mitre along with the song.