02 January 2009

Love is Out of Control

The other day, a friend said, "Whoever loves the least has control."

Watching family and friends over the holidays, I'm always provoked to think about relationships. One popular couples' trap seems to be the retaliatory trap: you owe your partner a cold shoulder, a scold, or a rebuke because they are - by your accounting - one up on you. It is as much a struggle for control as justice.

And if control comes from loving least, the contest for control over a relationship is a contest to see who can love the least. That doesn't seem like a contest worth winning.


Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I agree, Ron: it isn't a contest worth winning.

Anonymous said...

it is certainly the opposite of:
Love lots.
Lots of love
Much love
Lovingly yours
All my love

Et al.

Anonymous said...

Good post, Ron.
We humans can be so stupid and stubborn.

Anonymous said...

But it's kind of a paradox: anybody that would use that control isn't worthy of love.

Gypsy at Heart said...

Nothing disarms, defuses or calms things down more than a true show of love and kindness when the other party expects just the opposite reaction. Love CAN control, but for the better.

Ron Davison said...

SS Nick,
Good to see you at R World. I hope that '09 is good to you.

the opposite of love isn't hate - it is control? You didn't say that, did you? All attribute it to you anyway - as with so many quotes.

yes. yes we can (to paraphrase your favorite president-elect.)

That makes all kinds of sense. Thanks.

Great point. And love from someone who is in control is easier to trust or reciprocate.