The other day, a friend said, "Whoever loves the least has control."
Watching family and friends over the holidays, I'm always provoked to think about relationships. One popular couples' trap seems to be the retaliatory trap: you owe your partner a cold shoulder, a scold, or a rebuke because they are - by your accounting - one up on you. It is as much a struggle for control as justice.
And if control comes from loving least, the contest for control over a relationship is a contest to see who can love the least. That doesn't seem like a contest worth winning.