Shocking news from the White House today. Bush and Ahmadinejad have agreed to a Steel Cage Match. If Ahmadinejad wins, the U.S. will agree not to invade Iran. If Bush wins, Ahmadinejad has agreed to license a Fox News channel to begin broadcasting in Farsi throughout the country.
(In Iranian focus groups, an adaptation of Fox News did better than expected. Audiences of all ages particularly enjoyed the talk show that included an angry leprechaun named Will O'Wile, a neo-conservative with Tourette's whose frequent outbursts earned him beatings from an equally angry imam armed with a small cricket bat. Also popular was Bill Kristol-Meth, a commentator with a beatific smile who continued to make increasingly outlandish predictions about the efficacy of American policy while ingesting large quantities of pharmaceutical products.)
His staff reports that Bush is excited about the impending match and already has an outfit. "He already has a little cape he likes to wear when making important decisions," said one aid. "He's very excited about unveiling his new look to the American people." In addition to a cape, his outfit reportedly includes Lycra tights and cowboy boots. For Bush, this is more than a way to resolve his differences with Ahmadinejad - he hopes to silence critics who say that with Karl Rove gone, George has no idea about how to raise his approval ratings.
[AP picture of exhausted leprechaun thanks to Melissa McEwan at Shakesville.]