03 March 2008

Newsweak

Pundits report the news before it happens and then authoritatively explain why it didn't happen as predicted. Hillary Clinton's campaign is over. So they say. They call themselves conventional wisdom and when they are wrong, they can all say, "We don't know how conventional wisdom could have been so wrong." When I get big, I'm not only going to talk about myself in the third person, but I'm going to refer to myself as some large and impersonal entity. ("Yes, dear, but conventional wisdom had been dead certain that you would love the real green dress.")

If you are willing to move to Kathmandu, there is an opening for a living goddess. It sounds like an interesting position, but I imagine that being the incarnation of Kali would leave one little room for personal self-expression.

Like an angry diner on a bad date cursing the waiter ("I did not order this heart break!"), the political machinery in Washington continues to try sending back the recession it did not order. But reality has its sense of humor, insisting that a prolonged recession is the perfect "cherry on top" for Bush's 8 years as leader of the free (for all) world. Proposing that his tax cuts be made permanent, Bush insisted that the problem was not government spending but was, rather, insisting that the government must pay as it goes.

It turns out that John McCain is "soft" on immigration because he is himself, an immigrant. John was born in Panama on a military base. Ralph Nader decried this as yet one more attempt by Republicans to eventually outsource every job in America.

The press has decided that they've lulled Barack Obama sufficiently that his expression of hurt surprise once they turn on him will make for priceless pictures and videos. Expect all favorable coverage to come to a sudden halt on Wednesday.

Crude oil prices continued their rise past $100 a barrel; sophisticated oil prices, by contrast, had already slipped past $150 a barrel months ago.

5 comments:

cce said...

You're so right on with, "I did not order this heart break!", the plaintive wailing, the covering of the eyes, the if-I-refuse to-acknowledge-it- then-it-can't-be-so. But it should come as no surprise, it is exactly the manner in which they've rebuffed all bad news on the heels of their own bad decisions.

LSD said...

You are in fine form!

I am afraid, though, that your work will suffer when Hillary takes office.

It was fun to hear that there is a dilemma facing McCain on the Panama issue. -The comment that Nader decries it (did he really?) is a not as interesting; all he ever does is decry things.

I like your take on the press and Obama. Could it be that the press has become the robot that thinks for itself and now runs everything?

Scott's done now. He's going to go home and make some pasta with fresh tomato, dripping in cold-pressed sophisticated oil.

Ron Davison said...

cce,
are you criticizing us in the Bush administration? because I can't hear you!

Scott,
Ralph does seem to be the town decrier (or is that national?). I met him once. Seriously, I agree with much of what he says - just not the prognosis that we're all doomed if we don't do certain things. I think that humanity, civilization, and our way of life is much more resilient than he gives us credit for. And you know, regarding your last quip, that is one difference between us: you can pull off the sophisticated thing.

jen said...

"when i get big" totally cracked me up.

Ron Davison said...

jen,
If I could refer to myself as a third-person conglomerate, I'd have to be big.