11 March 2008

Dick Cheney, Sensitive Soul

The Sept. 11 commission reported yesterday that it has found no "collaborative relationship" between Iraq and al Qaeda, challenging one of the Bush administration's main justifications for the war in Iraq.

Along with the contention that Saddam Hussein was stockpiling weapons of mass destruction, President Bush, Vice President Cheney and other top administration officials have often asserted that there were extensive ties between Hussein's government and Osama bin Laden's terrorist network; earlier this year, Cheney said evidence of a link was "overwhelming."

I've been too hard on Dick Cheney. Once, I even went so far as to call him one of the three stooges of the apocalypse. But it turns out that I've been wrong. Dick Cheney is just a man easily overwhelmed, a sensitive soul prone to hide in undisclosed locations when he becomes emotional.

Look at his picture. It is easy to label the man as angry or hostile. One is tempted to discount his mis-read on Iraq as an inevitable outcome for a man who listens to his gut, an organ that must be perpetually in turmoil, feeding him a string of curses that would make even a drunken sailor blush. ("No, I don't have data. But my gut tells me that Iran has a secret weapon that will make our boys in uniform begin to feel oddly attracted to each other.")

But look again at that expression. Think about a man who finds even a paucity – no, an imagined dollop - of data to be "overwhelming." It is hard not to see this face as one about to collapse into tears, or perhaps cries of fright. It is rare that such sensitive souls make it to such lofty positions of power. It is time that we see Dick Cheney for who he really is. Dick Cheney is a beacon of hope for every child who has found himself crouched beneath his desk in reaction to moving poetry or reports of starvation. Easily overwhelmed, yet unafraid of power.

I feel like such a cad. I am overwhelmed with regret.


cce said...

In that pic, he looks like he's about to take a bite out of the podium or the poor reporter who has had the audacity to question his decisions.
Flash forward twelve years and Cheney's either dead from a heart attack or banging his head against walls in a super secret mental institution where he is kept well medicated and lobotomized. As Americans, we will have to take steps to secret away this shameful man.

Lifehiker said...

Cheney still hasn't surfaced since his unexplained disappearance. How the mighty have fallen!

Within three weeks after the start of the Iraq war it was obvious that Cheney had hoodwinked us. That he's not in federal prison is proof that our democracy is in shambles.

Cheney will be remembered as a key architect of America's decline in the new century. Who needs terrorists when we have psychopaths like him?

Gypsy at Heart said...

The infuriating thing is that neither he nor Bush will ever have to make amends for the lost lives, the drowning costs, the constant fear and danger that this country will forever after have to live with, as payment for the sheer incompetence and irresponsibility of their leadership.

LSD said...

Is this a wild attempt to distract us from the fact that Spitzer is so scary looking?

Ron Davison said...

Dick does seem to wear his face on his neck - I mean, his heart on his collar - I mean ... I am not sure what I mean, is what I mean, other than to just say that he doesn't just seem mean - he looks mean. That's what I mean.

Exactly. The man has easily done more damage than any 400 career criminals and yet ... and yet. Sigh.

These two stooges have led me to conclude that, from a moral perspective, there is little difference between evil and incompetence; whether you cut open someone's skull to kill him or out of a deluded sense of your ability to perform a surgery you know nothing about, your poor patient is doomed.

Spitzer is not scary looking. He's scared. How would you feel if V. told you that you were going to have to resort to $5k prostitutes and you just lost your job?

Allen said...

When will GW's presidential library open? Will VP Dick open a vice-presidential library? I REALLY need to know. I've got a huge collection of MAD magazines I want to donate to either or both libraries.

And you all knew that Dubya and Dick were ghost writers for MAD, right? right?

jen said...

i'm utterly underwhelmed.

that guy is such an asshat.

Ron Davison said...

Yeah, it is true that Dick writes for MAD. But his MAD magazine really is mad. There is no humor there.

you know, your calling the guy an asshat might carry more weight if you weren't a green haired doll.

jen said...

it's bandaids, dude. life is messy.

asshat, asshat, asshat.

nunya said...

Hacking a Pacemaker...

(evil grin)