With apologies to my cousin Scott, here are some recent quotes from W. (I know - I know, I've been on a rant of late. It is just that sometimes the fact that this man represents me is more than I can remain silent about.)
"And so the fact that they purchased the machine meant somebody had to make the machine. And when somebody makes a machine, it means there's jobs at the machine-making place."
— sharing what he knows about economics and business in May of 2008
"I can press when there needs to be pressed; I can hold hands when there needs to be—hold hands."
— sharing what he knows about the Middle East peace process, in January of 2008
"Goodbye, from the world's biggest polluter."
- sharing what he knows about enviromental policy and international relations in closing remarks to fellow leaders at the final G8 summit. He reportedly punched the air and grinned widely after making the joke. (Reported in the 21 July Newsweek.)
"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."
—sharing what he knows about how little even he knows about what he's up to in May of 2008.
6 comments:
I need a machine. Perhaps I will go to the machine store and buy one from the machine salesman.
Thomaslb:
W would approve! You see, you're a go-getter. When you need something, going and getting it is the sort of thing that George would do. -And then, of course, he would look into the camera and, as if it were necessary, explain why...
The quotes and quirks are interesting in that they seem to work like wedges. They are endearing to people who like the man and infuriating to those who don't. The previous President had a similar effect on the other sector of the population. -Whenever Bill squinted and bit his lip, I felt a need to break something.
Like Bill, George will end his term and then, only occasionally will he inhabit your field of view. -Your pain will gradually subside. The danger, of course, lies in delving into that abundant record of memorable quotes; that sort of excercise might prolong your pain.
“[Bradley proposes] the expansion of the Earned Income Tax Credit. I was the author of that proposal. I wrote that, so I say, welcome aboard. That is something for which I have been the principal proponent for a long time.” (Al Gore, Time, 11/1/99) Actually, Gore was not yet in congress when the EITC was originally passed in 1975. Gore did not become a member of Congress until 1977. Gore did not write the EITC Act of 1975. (Buffalo News, 12/13/99; U.S. News & World Report, 12/20/99)
“And I was shot at. . . . I spent most of my time in the field.” (Al Gore, The Washington Post, 2/3/88) ... “I carried an M-16 . . . I pulled my turn on the perimeter at night and walked through the elephant grass, and I was fired upon.” (Al Gore, Los Angeles Times, 10/15/99) Actually, Gore had bodyguards assigned to keep him out of harm’s way in Vietnam. “In Vietnam, Alan Leo, a photographer in the press brigade office where Gore worked as a reporter, said he was summoned by Brig. Gen. K.B. Cooper, the 20th Engineer Brigade’s Commander, who asked Leo, the most experienced member of the press unit, to make sure that nothing happened to Gore. ‘He requested that “Gore not get into situations that were dangerous,’” said Leo, who did what he could to carry out Cooper’s directive. He described his half-dozen or so trips into the field with Gore as situations where ‘I could have worn a tuxedo.’” (Newsweek, 12/6/99)
On nationwide TV (CNN) on March 9, 1999, Albert Gore told Wolf Blitzer: "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the internet." (fact: the Defense Department commissioned the ARPANET in 1969 when Gore was 21 years old, 8 years before his first run for congress. See this 3/11/99 article in Wired.)
In an attempt to improve his technological image, Vice-President Al Gore unveiled the world's fastest computer at a White House event On 10/28/98. However, during a campaign trip to a Pittsburgh valve factory, the Vice-President smiled and admitted that he has "trouble turning on a computer-let alone using one." (source: "Gore Touts Job-Training Programs at Pittsburgh Factory" Associated Press September 4, 1998)
On March 19, 1998 Gore called The Washington Post's executive editor to tip him off about an ''error'' on the front page of his paper. ''I decided I just had to call because you've printed a picture of the Earth upside-down," Gore said. (See this reference)
When asked on ABC's Nightline about President Clinton's withdrawal of Lani Guinier's nomination to the EEOC, Gore said, "The theories - the ideas she expressed about equality of results within legislative bodies and with - by outcome, by decisions made by legislative bodies, ideas related to proportional voting as a general remedy, not in particular cases where the circumstances make that a feasible idea... "
"You can leave [my children] out of this..." said Gore during a televised debate at Harlem's Apollo Theater on February 21st, 2000. He was responding to the charge that he sends his child to a private school, but he doesn't want parents of lesser means to be able to do the same. (See this reference)
During a tour of the museum at Monticello, just before the 1992 inauguration, with news reporters present, Al Gore, pointing to the busts of George Washington and Benjamin Franklin, asked, "Who are these people????" (New York Times, January 17, 1993)
"A zebra does not change its spots." - Al Gore, attacking President George Bush in 1992.
— source: The 700 Stupidest Things Ever Said by Ross and Kathryn Petras.
And three years later, at a press conference: "We all know the leopard can’t change his stripes." (The Toronto Sun, 11/19/95)
"We can build a collective civic space large enough for all our separate identities, that we can be e pluribus unum— out of one, many." — From a Milwaukee speech to the Institute of World Affairs, January 1994 ( "e pluribus unum" is Latin for "out of many, one").
Over Father's Day weekend in 1998, Al Gore addressed a symposium in the nation's capital on 'fatherhood'. While addressing the group, Al Gore tried quoting an old proverb by saying, "It's a wise father who knows his child". Of course, the real proverb goes, 'It's a wise child who knows its father'.
Find "Milosevic has barely begun to incur the damage he will feel." (Huh??? Neither has the American electorate, apparently.) and another quintessential AlGorism or two at THIS source.
"He supported the Voting Rights Act in 1965 and lost his next re-election. But his conscience won and he taught me that was more important than any election." — Albert Gore, Jr. trying to establish his father's commitment to the civil rights movement as a senator in a speech to the Progressive National Baptist Convention in August 1999. (Reality check: Sen. Albert Gore, Sr., lost his re-election in 1970 to Rep. Bill Brock, a Republican from Chattanooga who had voted for the Voting Rights Act in 1965 as a member of the House. The vice president doesn't mention this inconvenient fact because he would like us to think his father was some sort of civil rights martyr. In fact the elder Sen. Gore opposed the 1964 Civil Rights Act -- a decision he continued to defend even after he left office.)
"Incredibly, while these 18 to 20 year-olds cannot legally buy a beer, cannot purchase a bottle of wine and cannot order a drink in a bar, right now they can walk into any gun shop, any pawn shop, any gun show, anywhere in America and buy a handgun." — Al Gore, in a speech before the U.S. Conference of Mayors in New Orleans, June 14, 1999. either haplessly ignorant of, or deliberately ignoring, the Gun Control Act of 1968, which made it illegal to sell a handgun to anyone under the age of 21, and several additional laws which make it illegal for anyone under 18 to even possess a handgun. Also see Who is Al Gore Kidding?.
"Tobacco addiction sinks its claws in deeply, it's just as powerful of [sic] an addiction as heroin or crack cocaine..." — Al Gore, ex-tobacco farmer and ex-smoker(!), in West Seattle, WA, 12/16/97 — West Seattle Herald, 12/24/97
Mr. Gore says he's committed to "eliminating the internal combustion engine" in Earth in the Balance.
"The Pacific Yew can be cut down and processed to produce a potent chemical, taxol [Gore must absolutely love that name!], which offers some promise of curing certain forms of lung, breast and ovarian cancer in patients who would otherwise quickly die. It seems an easy choice -- sacrifice the tree for a human life — until one learns that three trees must be destroyed for each patient treated." — Gore, in Earth in the Balance
"[DDT] can be environmentally dangerous in tiny amounts." — Gore, in Earth in the Balance, with absolutely no scientific studies referenced. Fact: The use of DDT has resulted in the saving of millions of (human) lives from malaria. It must be all those dead mosquitoes Mr. Gore weeps for. The real facts are HERE. And see THIS indictment of the inhumanitarian cluelessness of the wealthy enviro-chic.
Gore, about the menace of global warming: "there is no longer any significant disagreement within the scientific community" — (Oh, really? See: THIS, this (scroll down), this and this) ( If you have the stomach, you can take the Gore / Unabomber Quiz HERE. ) "...Vice President Al Gore, at his 51st birthday bash this year ... claimed that the planet, particularly his native-or-adopted Tennessee, had heated up [remarkably during his lifetime]." — Washington Times, 9-7-99 (Oh, yeah?
I don't really know how to follow Anonymous, except to point out that Al Gore didn't lead us into a costly, destructive war based on lies.
And before Anonymous jumps on me for missing the point: I get it. I get your point.
I still feel entitled to throw bigger stones at our current president.
Expanding on Jennifer's comments. Al also spoke in full sentences.
Thomas,
We fellow Americans appreciate your taking such a personal interest in our economy. Thank you.
Scott,
It is hard to think of this as endearing. Wait. Let me try again. .... Yep. It's hard to think of these as endearing.
Anon,
Your point is that even wooden Al Gore is more locquacious than our man George? Or did I miss the point?
Jennifer,
of course, our president, too, appears entitled to get stoned. Or at least that would explain so much.
Milena,
Al has an unfair advantage over George: he actually stayed awake during class.
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