Finally - an Ophiuchus Horoscope

Recently, a new astrological sign was announced. Sadly, no one seems to have updated the daily horoscopes with the inclusion of this 13th group. So, I've taken it upon myself to address this lack. Here it is - your Ophiuchus (Nov 30 - Dec 17) horoscope.

21 Feb - Monday

Today you find yourself celebrating president’s day – or protesting to get a president. In either case, you may want to try out that great little gelato shop close to all the activity. And you can’t help but notice that for all the apparent chaos, riots have a clear purpose whereas parades, for all their supposed order, have none.   

22 Feb - Tuesday

You’ll suddenly realize that life is like watching a foreign film so thick with subtitles you can’t both make sense of the film and watch it. Overwhelmed you, Ophiuchus, just choose to ignore life and surf the web instead.

23 Feb - Wednesday

You’re pretty much on your own here. Unlike other astrological signs, Ophiuchuses don’t tend to move in lock step. That said, you may still want to pack a lunch. I really can’t say more or it would ruin the surprise.

24 Feb – Thursday

At 11:53, your phone rings. It’ll be a friend who needs affirmation. Be generous and gush a little. If your phone doesn’t ring by 11:58, admit that you’re that friend. Just make the call.

25 Feb – Friday

Ride public transportation to work today. Read the newspaper aloud to those around you. As you depart, turn to the folks you’re leaving and say, “Please fill out your personal news commentary survey sheets that you’ll find in the seat pocket in front of you. Your feedback is important.”

26 Feb – Saturday

Ah, it’s the weekend. Or used to be. Before they broke all the unions and decided that until everyone – even the Chinese – get a two day weekend, no one gets a two day weekend.

27 Feb – Sunday

You suddenly realize you don’t know how many days are left in the month or even if this is a leap year. You had a great deal planned but this uncertainty sort of puts a damper on all your intentions. Frightened by the thought that the month may already be over and you still haven’t accomplished anything significant, you find yourself ironically disengaged.

28 Feb – Monday

Realizing that this is the last day of the month, you get a burst of productivity so great that these efforts will become the basis for your weekly activity report. Two hours later, you stop for coffee and never quite get back into that same zone. Pity, really, because you were on a roll.

1 Mar – Tuesday

It suddenly occurs to you that you can't even say the name of your new astrological sign. Baffled, you begin to question the validity of any of this before realizing that this very prediction of skepticism is proof that you've nothing to be skeptical about.

Obama & McCain - What the Astrologers Say

The polls at fivethirtyeight.com predict an Obama win. According to them, Obama has a 96.3% chance of becoming president in early 2009.

But for those of you who don't trust polling data, there is something more convincing: excerpts from the horoscopes for Obama, McCain and their running mates for tomorrow.

Obama’s 4 Nov horoscope

You may be accepted as just the person for a particular job. If you have always been the follower, you may find yourself a leader today. As a leader, you could appoint a co-leader to help you plan and coordinate. Radical and inventive ideas hold the key to realizing your ambitions and advancing your status--a shake-up could be in the works. You draw emotional sustenance and a sense of security from friends who give you support. Your relationships and partnerships are very important to you. They are capable of transforming you at the most basic level. A time of real inner growth is encouraged through other people.

Biden's horoscope suggests that he might be working with the younger Obama on foreign policy issues. Biden's 4 November horoscope.

Your communication skills are energized this morning. Your timing should be perfect and those around you should find your responses are lively. Concerning relationships, you are entering a phase of emotional directness--one marked by powerful feelings. Emotional beginnings, a fresh start, perhaps the establishment of new habit patterns--make sure they are good ones, because they will set the tone for you for quite some time to come! This evening there is time to enjoy a favorite hobby. Rearranging, organizing and perhaps trading with someone that enjoys the same hobby will be part of this preoccupation. Doing something nice for a loved one makes you feel good about yourself this evening. This may involve helping a child with homework.

McCain's 4 Nov horoscope

Report any difficulties as you see them and ask for help to create a friendlier atmosphere. This may bring an end to the problem or at least ease the problem. Change happens and in time the situation will become non-existent. Working through problems seems to be the order of the day and hard to avoid. It is good you are understanding and can be helpful in the work place or at home.

It doesn't sound good for Sarah Palin either. She may be looking at a career change that includes tupperware or amway? (Of course, if McCain Palin pull off an upset, this working in your own home may take on a diferent sound.) Her 4 Nov horoscope

Ambition and achievement can be a tough path to follow. You win reward, recognition and authority through hard work and knowing the score; otherwise, you may wisely realize that someone hungrier and in the know will overtake you. Who owes what, who owns what and who decides what, are some of the major issues for you today. This could be a time of developing ideas for working out of your home. You have a deep yearning to express your talents and may feel that you are held back. Working in your own home would place you in the roll as your own boss. Talk to people that have a business in their home; go to conventions where home-based businesses are advertised. Careful--someone you work for or with could be a new customer

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It is hard to construe this as anything but positive news for the Obama camp. And really, what could be more reliable?