Liberals' Nefarious Plan to Kill Off Conservatives (Chick-fil-a Controversy Explained)

This Chick-fil-a furor continues and it may be part of a liberal conspiracy to lessen the impact of the conservative vote.

Conservatives are now driven to prove their alignment with family values by eating fried chicken. Liberals are boycotting the place. One can only speculate that this will exacerbate a trend already seen in the data comparing liberal and conservative states.

States that have higher life expectancy tend to vote more liberal. That's Hawaii in the top right-hand corner, where life expectancy is 81.5  years and Obama got 72% of the vote. The point on the far left is Mississippi, where life expectancy is 74.8 years and only 43% of the population voted for Obama. Conservatives obviously already have a weakness for fried foods. Someone just came up with a way to exploit that.

Given that conservative states have higher birth rates, this matter of lower life expectancy doesn't really help liberals to crowd out conservatives as a percentage of the general population. So, some nefarious liberal obviously came up with a plan to get conservatives to eat more fried chicken. Like fluoride in the water, the Chick-fil-a controversy is really an attempt to subvert American values.