Conspiracy

I've figured out who is behind the media of terror. It's the hippies.

Think about it. First, they get us to walk through airport security barefoot, the slippery slope towards a change in social norms. Now, they've managed to force us to give up toothpaste, hair gel, cosmetics, deoderant, perfume whenever we want to fly. We've all been forced to go natural, like people living on a commune. Soon, we'll be traipsing through security completely unencumbered by textiles or modesty, everyone agreeing that this is a bit of a hassle but it's worth it if we're kept safe. And airport terminals will look like Woodstock brought indoors to be near a Starbucks. Islamic fundamentalists? ha! It's the hippies.