31 August 2010

August Tweets (or, the mind that never shuts up)

Too busy writing and working to write a blog post ... so, here's something to prove blog activity - a smattering of the tweets from August.

Good @ programming but bad @ marketing. His database for children's doctors was a flop. And he'd had such high hopes for pedo-file

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Band name idea: cognitive dissonance. And to make the point, it should be a string quartet.

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At some point, being advanced works against you. Good: he's 8 but reads at a 12 year old level. Bad: he's 60 but walks like he's 90.

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From what I can tell, the difference between hipsters and country folk is not what they wear but whether they wear it w/ a sense of irony.

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Idea for children's book from visit to Zoo: "the bear isn't there & there is no otter in that water: learning to cope w/ disappointment"

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Got the multivitamins. Now all I need is roughage and calories, right? I'm thinking sugar cane.

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Glen Beck's "Rally to Restore Honor." will be followed by the "NASCAR Rally to Restore Old Chevy's." Toby Keith will perform.

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So excited about prospect of being on next season's dancing w/ stars. I wonder, tho, if I'm the only candidate they've yet to contact at all

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Gulf spill reveals previously unknown oil-eating bacteria is now flourishing. Now to find the oil-pooping bacteria.

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People always tell me to "travel safe." I already stay out of the cockpit. I'm not sure what more they want me to do.

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Media distortion bumps ratings twice: once to hype the proapects of the tea party candidate and then again to hype McCain's "surprising" victory.

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Guys @ table in Japanese restaurant inexplicably rotated their table 90 degrees. Then I felt the instant change in the the feng shui.

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Man, shot in head, notices five years later: http://yhoo.it/doZ2ZI Well, to be fair, it was the BACK of his head.

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The ban of the mosque near ground zero doesn't go far enough: we should ban construction of all buildings by religions we know are wrong.

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Little known clause in Tiger's divorce settlement: he has to now go by his given name, Eldrick .

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Lou Piniella retired. I think he should stay on somewhere, pioneering the new role of designated call protestor.

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News from the future: WW3 started weeks after North Korea joined facebook and misinterpreted France's poke.

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Band name idea: "head butting the hornet's nest."

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It's always the middle of the story. Even history has a history.

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In Google, type "Find Chuck Norris" and then hit, "I am feeling lucky" button.

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Just after Byrne sold 19 million copies of her positive thinking book The Secret, the economy collapsed. I wonder what her new book will do.

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I'm nearly positive that the BBC was reporting on alms trafficking. That concept so intrigues me.

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Plato's cave allegory becomes the online allegory. "And they turned from their monitors and said, 'that can't be the real world!'"

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I think that soon the televangelist will become the twittavangelist. Just send money if you support this idea.

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RT @leawoodward: Will any of these be yours? ~ The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying http://bit.ly/bFqdpZ

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A growing % of Americans think that Obama is Muslim. Less reported is the sudden surge in % who suspect that Mitt Romney is Unitarian.

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I wonder if it is a sign of progress or decadence that 7-11 now serves sushi.

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Shopping at Costco is like a Vegas wedding. You wake up the next morning wondering about long-term commitments you’ve made.

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Children should be heard but not obscene.

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RT @nprscottsimon: "Toilet owned by JD Salinger being auctioned for $1 mil. " Wonder if this shows little or great respect for literature?

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Saw a guy with a "Chargers for Life" t-shirt. I wonder what he did to deserve that kind of sentence.

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In retrospect, they had made their plan to ensnare the population's attention no secret. They had, after all, called it the world wide web.

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Karate shares etymology with Karaoke. It means "to gesture loudly." Sadly, people misunderstood early practitioners and responded violently.

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Good idea: comic strip. Bad idea: comedians strip.

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Biz idea: phone plan that includes occasional texts from people like Voltaire, Oscar Wilde, and Richard Pryor.

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After BP spills oil in2 the ocean, ice island 4X size of Manhattan breaks loose & is on path 2 destroy oil platforms. Probably coincidence.

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I wonder if Billy Idol referred to his dad as "Pop."

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Biz idea: Barnes & Noodles. Yaki soba and non-fiction. "You'll find our Italian noodle section just behind the self-help aisle."

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I think it is so cool that California has HOV lanes. Sadly, tho, I did not see any actual Hovercraft on the trip home.

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Wonder if some guy in Asia has a cryptic tattoo in English no one can read. Read, "Don't forget the milk." Everyone assumes it is profound.

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Venice Boardwalk - where the audience is the show.

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A week ago in Indy. Today in Venice Beach. They're different.

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Simple rule: if it costs 6 cents to make something worth one, stop making them. My deficit reduction plan? Stop making pennies.

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Girls that grew up w/ Barbie financed cosmetic surgery industry. Boys that grew up w/ Buck Rogers put billions into Star Wars defense.

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.... didn't know the difference between caring about other people and caring about what other people thought.

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Society is a consensus trance, like a person hypnotizing himself in the mirror and then walking away & forgetting that he’s under hypnosis

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biz idea: open a restaurant named "lunch." When people say, "let's go to lunch," it'd be the default. "When all you know is you want lunch."

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Like the 5th annual going out of business sale ... Favre announces that he's retiring.

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Denver International Airport is DIA. I wonder how they refer to their Expressway?

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A-Rod's quest for 600 home runs approaches 2 weeks. Just to put that in perspective, the rest of the planet's quest is approaching infinity.

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Ambush pedagogy: early release 4 inmates willing 2 do community service jumping from behind trees 2 frighten children w/ memorable facts.

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