Proposal for a Dog Museum

No paintings on the walls. No hushed docents.

Instead, along the baseboards: scents.

Each accompanied by a tasteful placard:

• Dropped Sausage (One Bite Taken, Floor Contact: 3.2 Seconds)

• Coyote After-Thought

• Eau de French Poodle in Heat.
  (One of six rotational pheromonal exhibits. Please allow your dog to linger only briefly to prevent congestion.)

• Fresh Mud After Rain

• Frightened Human

• Suspicious Delivery Driver

• Pine Tree (Upper Bark, 3½ Feet High)

Interactive wing:
“Fire Hydrant, Urban” — a collaborative installation refreshed hourly.

Gift shop sells nothing visible.