"Having been born and raised in Kenya, I was bedazzled on my first trip to America. I knew right then that I wanted to preside over this great country and would need a fake birth certificate from some part of the country plausibly distant and yet still acceptably American: Hawaii, I thought, a place even further from DC than the west coast of Africa.
"First, though, I would have to use every argument my five year old mind could concoct to convince my mother and grandparents to enroll me in an American school for kindergarten and raise me as if I were an American. Once I'd cleared that obstacle, my conquest of the Democratic Party and then the White House would be inevitable. I began daydreaming about the musical artists who might perform at my inauguration."
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