Why Melania Will Quickly Divorce Donald

You know Melania is going to quickly divorce Trump but not for the reasons you might think. Now kicked off of Twitter and Facebook, his audience gone, he's going to be texting her nonsense 40X a day.

"I WON GEORGIA! IT WAS A LANDSLIDE!"

'GROWN MEN COME UP TO ME AND CRY!'

"WHERE IS MY DIET COKE!'

"Donald!," she will cry. "Text someone else!"

"But no one texts me back. Everyone used to pay attention to everything I said. Now? No one. Nothing. You need to listen to ME!"

"I will not listen. And I refuse to role play and dress up with you. We're not playing Trump rally anymore. I'm done wearing that stupid hat and chanting 'Build that wall!' for you. I'm done!"

"MELANIA! PLEASE!"
"Stop texting me!"